It's been one week since Danny and I have begun our Planet Fitness journey and today was our 5th visit!
And today was the 2nd day in a row we went!
I'm not going to lie, today was hard. Motivation was about nil. Same with Danny. Hard day at work for me, it sucked. Then a 30 minute drive home, only to turn around and leave again 30 minutes later with Danny to go back to where I just came from.
We worked out, I only did an hour and scheduled the Hydro Chair. Danny continued to work out on the Elliptical while I was enjoying my chair. Unfortunately since Danny goes as my guest, he isn't permitted to use the added extras.
Seriously this is what I had to tell myself today. Yay we went, but when we left, we didn't feel the all over good like previous times. Don't get me wrong, I felt better, but it just seemed like something was missing.
So tonight at dinner, I mentioned that if my day isn't too crappy tomorrow, I'm going to go to PF for an hour or so by myself. BY MYSELF! Pulling up my big girl panties and doing it on my own. That's a little scary. But I know I can do it and I'm going to prove to myself that I will do it.
I found out that the Ellipticals are different! The one with the wheel in the back is easier to use. Well, it's hard for me, BUT! I was able to do it for 2-1/2 minutes. I know all of these little times aren't that big of a deal for most, but they are to me and that's all that matters.
I just know that I don't want to be this way forever. I want to be a smaller me. I don't know how much smaller, but smaller. I want to feel good, I want aches and pains to go away. I want to be off of my meds. I hate myself like this. From that very first time Sharon Peters called me fat in first grade, to all of the family and friends of family that would say, "Oh you have such a pretty face." Really? I have a pretty face, but since the rest of me is huge, I don't count. Well the outside is just a shell and it really doesn't matter what the outside looks like, it's the inside that counts. But it all just hurts the same.