Monday, February 23, 2015

Getting My Kicks with the Start of Week Six!

Today was just one of those days. Apparently when I got dressed for work, I put on my cranky pants. No real reason for being cranky, well not that I knew of. I just feel off today. School was delayed, so I got to sleep in 40 minutes longer, but I really didn't sleep well. Went to bed later, my left arm/shoulder hurts really bad and that wakes me up and I had a cup of coffee around 7:30 last night. Usually I can drink a whole pot and it doesn't bother me, last did.

So today is the beginning of Week 6. I have 5 weeks of exercise behind me. I'm a little frustrated, I have yet to see a result of exercising 5 days a week. I know, I know, every little bit helps. When someone as large as me is trying to become a smaller version, results aren't quick to see. This weekend was a crap food weekend. I did not over indulge, I just didn't eat real great. Today I made sure I was more aware of what I was shoveling in. I have tonight's dinner left overs for tomorrow's lunch. My big meal will be at noon. Hubby will have left overs for tomorrow's dinner and Danny and I will have a sandwich. I've found that I really like eating a bigger meal at noon, then something light at dinner time. Now that Dan is home every night for dinner, I feel that I must make a real meal... In honesty, he could care less. I could make him toast and pour him a bowl of cereal and he'd be happy.  So now that I have this exercise thing down, I have to work on my food, what I eat and the portions. I also have to increase my water. Rome wasn't built in a day and it took 46 years for me to reach this horrible, disgusting size, everything will mesh and it will slowly come off.

While dinner was in the oven, I walked away those pounds with Leslie. I was a loner today. My guys didn't join in. Dan's knee was bothering him, he sat on the couch with the heating pad, Danny sat on the other couch dozing on and off. At first I felt a little slighted, then irritated, then I just decided eff it, I'm exercising. I put myself into my own little bubble and pretended they weren't even in the room with me. I zoned. When I was finished, both of them told me what a great job I did and they both promised to join me tomorrow without my asking. I love that we as a family do this, but I am doing this for me. I can not depend on someone to do it with me. I am responsible for me. I could have very easily said screw it today because no one else was going to exercise, but I didn't. I can not do that.

Tomorrow is going to be a crazy Tuesday. The delay call from the school came. I know I can sleep in until 6:00. I have a doctor's appt. after work. I'm finally going to have my left arm and shoulder checked out. This has been going on far too long. For the past 2 weeks it keeps getting harder and harder to sleep. I've noticed a decrease in my strength and over the weekend pain was traveling down into my wrist and fingers. It sucks getting old, I feel like I'm falling apart.

I took a picture after walking this afternoon, not the best quality, I used Danny's iPod. I had that nice shimmery glean.... my fat was crying, red face and messy hair.  And I felt great afterwards. This is the real me.

For those of you who are still following my journey, thank you. Please become a follower. Share my blog with your friends. It would be so incredibly wonderful to have a little support network out there. We can all help one another to become healthier versions of ourselves!

This is my blog, my thoughts, my words, my feelings.

Friday, February 20, 2015

A Family That Exercises Together...

Wow! I can not believe today is Day 5 of Week 5. We as a family exercised together for 5 days this week! I am proud of my family. It's a tiny step, but we as a family took that step. A step in the right direction. 
It was 5:30 and I mentioned exercise... hmmm what to do. The idea of Richard Simmons was a tossed out suggestion, but to my surprise, Danny suggested a walking video. This was the first time he has ever suggested any form of exercise. There was no way I was going to say no. Danny and I started the Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds. Dan did his shoulder exercises, then joined us in walking at the 1/2 mile mark. Although it was only a 1 mile walk, it was 1 mile we wouldn't have walked if we didn't do it.
Maybe this spring I'll be able to keep up with Miss Lisbeth walking around town. I won't have the OMG you're killing me feeling, I can't keep up. However, when the time comes and Miss Lisbeth is on Full Speed Ahead, if needed, I will speak up and ask her to shift it down a notch :)

I know males have the tendency to lose weight quicker, their bodies shape up faster... I can not let this discourage me.
I am just so over the top happy that we as a family did some form of exercise for 5 days. I can not wait for Week 6 to begin on Monday. WE have set our sails in the right direction and are becoming a healthier version of us! YAY!!!

We are expecting a snow storm tomorrow. Although I like taking the weekends off from exercise, I know the 3 of us will be outside shoveling snow in the driveway.

Have a great weekend! Keep warm and safe wherever you may be!

This is my blog, my thoughts, my words, my feelings.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Tuesday, Not a good day. Week 5

Today is Tuesday. It hasn't been a good day. My day began at 3:00 a.m. when I woke up in pain. My left hip. I have no idea what happened or what I did, but it hurt and it hurt bad. I took 3 ibuprofen and went back to bed. There was no comfortable position. Out to the living room I went. Reclining in the chair didn't make the pain any better. I went back to into my bed. At least it was warm under the comforter. 2 more ibuprofen at 6:45 and the heating pad. At 7:10, Danny and I were off...
Got to work at 8:00, boss man wasn't in yet, he arrived by 8:15, was cranky, stayed 20 minutes and went home. Best thing ever. I found a comfortable position, laying 1/2 way over my desk. Unfortunately I could not spend my day that way. Whenever I got a chance, I laid across my desk. It seemed to relieve some of the pain, maybe stretching it out, I don't know. I pushed myself to walk out in the warehouse a little more than usual, I figured if I didn't move, it would get worse. When I got home I hit the recliner with the heating pad and fell asleep for an hour.
After dinner and clean up, it was a little after 7:00, I had to exercise. I didn't want to exercise because of my hip, but I forced myself to and I did it. The 3 of us exercised. Danny not completely, but I wasn't in the mood to push tonight. Dan started out by doing his shoulder exercises. About 1/2 way into the video, I turned to my right and Dan was doing the video with me. A little wave of emotion came over me.
Last night while I was getting my shower, Dan came in for our usual chat. We do that. Basically it is the only place where we can have a discussion without Danny being there. He told me that he is glad to be home with us, but even more than that, he is so happy that I started exercising. He was encouraging, "You're going to notice a difference, not in 2 weeks, maybe not in 8, but if you keep doing this like you are, you will see your results."

Dan is amazed at what kind of exercise videos are found on the Internet. He thought that I did videos on the TV and played the Wii. I have no set program, whatever I feel like doing that day, I do. I don't want to get bored, I don't want to get into the same routine. I don't want to get to the point that I don't want to do this anymore.

At first I wasn't fond of the idea of sharing my exercise, but after tonight, I think I'm going to like it. Dan's range of motion isn't 100% from his surgery and mine isn't either because of my size. But watching him do it to the best of his ability was the exact little push I needed to complete my program to the best of my ability.

If you are still reading this, please let me know you were here. Become a follower too. I won't mind in the least bit.

"A body in motion, stays in motion."

This is my blog... my thoughts.... my words.... my feelings.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Stayin' Alive with Week Number 5

 Wow!!! Today is the beginning of Week 5 for me. In all honesty, I did not exercise as much as I should have last week and I noticed a difference, but I didn't quit!!! I got back on it today.
Exercising now has come to a whole new level. My husband is working a different shift now. He will be home with us every evening. We get to have dinner together every day. I missed the family dinners with the 3 of us when he was on afternoon shift. This shift will take some getting used to, but I/we absolutely love that he is home with us.
Last Friday, Dan and I were talking and he was asking about exercising and asked if Danny and I did it on Thursday, I didn't lie, I told him that we didn't. He told me that now that he is going to be home he is going to push me into doing it. Push me? Those 2 words felt like hot embers. No one is going to push me. Like I said from the very beginning, this is all on me. I'm not making promises. I have always been the type of person that if I feel I'm being forced into doing something, I just won't do it. I stop... completely. So I looked at him and said, "I don't need pushed." Then he corrected himself, he asked if he could exercise with me. I said sure.
I gave Dan a little fair warning beforehand, he asked if we were going to dance. I didn't feel like dancing today... wasn't sure if I felt like walking, but I discovered these Launchpad Exercise Videos on youtube and love them. The one I did today was Stage 2, Episode 1. Dan didn't do the video with me, but he did his shoulder exercises that he was slacked on since PT finished up a couple of weeks ago. I have to admit that I was a little nervous having him in the living room with me while I was exercising, why??? He's my husband... we've been together forever. Anyway, I did my exercise video, he did his exercises, he finished before me and did join in at the end. Danny came upstairs and did a few leg lifts. A few minutes into my video, I didn't even know Dan was there. I focused and focuses on myself. He had encouraging words a long the way, that was a nice little boost. Danny also encouraged.
After exercise I finished getting dinner ready. I used the crock pot today. Venison roast with carrots and I made homemade mashed potatoes. We all sat down for a family dinner and it was yummy. It felt nice, it felt good. Kitchen is all cleaned up and as soon as I am done with my blog, we will have a few more hours together, as a family.

I love the above picture of Tess. She is my plus size super hero. She is absolutely gorgeous! I wish I had 1/10th of the confidence she has. Beauty isn't a size and I wish people would understand that. Sadly they do not. Weight is only a number, I do not want to be a number, I haven't gotten on the scale. I will when I have a doctors appointment at the end of March. I have a vision, a vision of a size I want to be.

As I am finishing my blog, thinking about my Monday, I've had a great Monday. It was bitter, nasty cold. Boss man was cranky as hell, but I'm here, I'm happy. I exercised, my spirits lifted, my guys are home and I'm content.

This is my blog, my thoughts, my words, my feelings.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Berries, Berries and More Berries

My second day into Week 4. I'm still amazed at myself.
Not a lot to blog about today. It was a crazy day. Left the house at 7:10 a.m. and didn't get home until 5:15 p.m. I stopped at Aldi on my way home, that was my first stop... They had fresh berries on sale. I've been craving fresh fruit, summer fruit... I got my berry fix today for sure. Strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries and Dried Cranberries for my salad. I also bought fresh veggies to make a nice salad. I would have been fine with salad and fresh fruit, but I still would have had to make something for Danny for dinner. I also bought a take-n-bake pizza.

While the pizza was baking, I was preparing my salads, I also made my lunch for tomorrow, which is the same thing I had for dinner tonight.
Healthy food is pretty food. All of the pretty colors, the more color, the better for you it is. I believe it also satisfies your pallet too. I ate my salad first, for my dressing I used a Cranberry Pear Balsamic Vinegar mixed with a Basil infused evoo. OH MY! Delish! A much better, heart healthy dressing and so tasty! Normally I would have went for a 3rd piece of pizza, but I had a hard time trying to finish my 2nd piece. I'm proud of myself for eating healthy (except for pizza) tonight and eating until I was satisfied, not stuffed.

It's too late to exercise tonight, I'll never be able to fall asleep. I feel bad about not doing anything, but I did get a few good walks in today. Parking further away from the stores I went to today and walking the whole way around the inside of the stores. Also at work, I did quite a few upper body exercises while at my desk and when my boss wasn't there. Although I would like to do more, I just can't. I need my sleep.

I won't be able to blog tomorrow, my 4 favorite littles are coming over for a visit. We're going to have a blast. 

Enjoy your night!

Thanks for stopping by!

This is my blog, my thoughts, my words, my feelings.

Monday, February 9, 2015

I Exercised Today, Did You? Week 4

Week 4!!! Wowzers! I'm just starting into my 4th week. I'm not one to pat myself on the back, but I am patting myself on the back!
Last week was hard. Too many bad work days, too many body aches. I slacked and will be the first to admit it. I know I exercised on Thursday, but I honestly do not remember what I did.
Friday was the Garth Brooks concert. I didn't exercise, I indulged! A little too much. Didn't eat the right food and drank a little too much.... O.k., I drank A LOT!!! I paid for it dearly on Saturday as I was worse than a slug's slug. No excuses, but it sure was a fun girl's night out. Something that we all needed.

Today at work, my work buddy looked at me and said, "Sharon, you look like you've lost 5 or 10 pounds." I looked at him and told him he was full of shit and walked back into my office. I kept thinking about that all day... I really don't feel like, I don't think I look like I have. There is no way possible. I'm not doing enough to lose that much. Finally at the end of the day I had to ask him if he was serious or just joking. He is quite the kidder. I made it perfectly clear that if he was messing with me that I was o.k. with it. He said, "No, I wasn't joking. You look like you have lost weight. Sharon when people our size (he is chubby too) lose weight and it is noticed, it is a nice thing to hear. We need to hear it." I thanked him.

Well that was the morale boost I needed. I got home from work, didn't take my 30/45 minute nap, got dinner in the oven and went into my Pinterest Boards. I did a 27 minute chair work out. It was fun, didn't seem like it took 27 minutes, I could feel it, but I enjoyed it. That's right, I just said I enjoyed exercising. Tomorrow is one of my crazy days. I'll fit something in, somehow. I'm looking forward to it.

And just a little dinner note, I roasted a 1/2 of a turkey breast, but first I melted a little "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light" and added Frank's Wing Sauce to it. Danny got out his injector and injected the turkey breast. OMG!!! Delicious! You must try it!

One positive thing that I have noticed, my feet haven't looked like sausages for about 2 weeks now. I ordered a pair of boots on line before Christmas. The right one fit, the left was tight and I couldn't get the zipper zipped the whole way. The boots are low, ankle length/height. Well I tried them over the weekend. The right one fit, I knew it would. I put the left one on, it's a little tight because my left foot is a little wider than my right, BUT.....   the zipper zipped the whole way up and it was not tight on my ankle!!!! I'll be wearing my new boots this week!

As for the blog, I don't think I'm going to write it every day, maybe 2 or 3 times a week. Just want to put that out there, don't want you to think I have given up. Sometimes it is hard to write every night. If you are still hanging in here with me and following along on my journey, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

This is my blog, my thoughts, my words and my feelings.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Wednesday - Week 3

Well what can I say about today? It was an extremely difficult day at work. A mistake I made, which, usually wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it was with a company that we are having problems with and everything is snowballing with them. My boss heard me when I told the office manager that the mistake was my fault and I know I'm going to get my ass reamed for it. Rightfully so. The reaming wasn't too bad, but the ignorance that followed the rest of the day was uncalled for. I am a sensitive soul. I should have grew a pair today, but I didn't it. Instead, I went through my entire stash of emergency chocolate. Yep, I did! I have  had a stash of seven (7) Hershey Dark Chocolate Squares. I love dark chocolate, oh hell who am I kidding? I LOVE CHOCOLATE...ALL CHOCOLATE. Anyway, 3 of these squares is a serving size, so in reality I hate 2 + servings, which sounds a lot better than 7 squares. I felt like a bloated, stuck pig afterwards and was so mad at myself. Did it really give me comfort and help me get through the day? Not really. Was it worth it? Not really. The only good thing that came out of me eating my emergency chocolate stash is that it is gone and should a crappy day at work come again, I'll have to grow a pair since I have no chocolate to eat.

Today was just hard. I woke up achy. My knees hurt really bad. Well everything hurt really bad. Parts of my body that I didn't even know existed hurt. Danny and I stood outside in the cold yesterday for almost an hour, (it was worth it.) I pedaled for exercise last night, I didn't move as much at work today, tied to my desk and the change of weather, sunny and 44 degrees at 2:30, then the temps dropped, are still dropping and it's snowing like a beotch. Barometric pressure change.  Oh and the fact that I am extremely overweight and so out of shape. I would say that my aches and pains today are from that even though I would like to blame it on my other excuses...

No energy, feeling sorry for myself, crappy day... as much as I hurt when I got home, I did not want and I repeat did not want to exercise. That's it, I'm done I thought to myself. I made it 2-1/2 weeks into my journey, I'm calling it quits. Well something made me get my huge ass out of the chair and I popped in Richard Simmons. It was like magic, even though I hurt, I smiled. I exercised. Richard encouraged me. At the end of the video, Richard Simmons told me he was proud. I thanked him out loud. Yes I know he is not really in my living room.Yes, I know he really isn't talking to me. But for the length of the video, I believe he is here with me and I believe that yes, he wants to help me, he wants to help me with my journey and he believes in me.

One of the signs that I am trying to recognize is the feeling of be satisfied versus the feeling of being full...over stuffed. I've been doing really well. Until dinner tonight. We had burgers, yes, burgers are at least a once a week meal. We had burgers, fries (which I counted) and I had a big salad with lots of black olives. Yes, I LOVE BLACK OLIVES! I will eat black olives until I get the OMG I feel like I'm going to puke feeling. Anyway, I ate one burger on a bun, fries and salad. I felt satisfied, but wanted (did not need) the other burger... I ate it, without a bun. Then I felt overstuffed. I should have just got up from the table. I should have saved the other burger for my lunch tomorrow.

One of these days, everything is going to mesh together. Everything that I am doing and trying to do is going to work. I will see results. I will feel healthy, I will feel good and I will have a better feeling about myself. Also, I will have a smaller sized, really cute new outfit for my niece's wedding in October.

I'm going to pop some ibuprofen, soak in a really hot shower and settle in for the night with my Donnie, I mean Danny. It's our Wahlburgers night. Danny loves calling me Alma and I call him Donnie. Silly little sentiments between a mom and son. My son is my world.

This is my blog, my thoughts, my feelings, my words.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Monday, Monday Week 3

Oh it's Monday. I didn't blog on Friday. I just didn't feel like it, so I didn't. I had high hopes for Friday. Friday was my 10th day of exercise. My day was planned out, I would be home alone from 7:10 a.m. until at least 9:30. A whole list of exercises to do, fun things. Well school had a 2 hour delay, that meant me driving Danny to school leaving here at 9:00... o.k., well I'll just do my exercises when Dan leaves for work. Nope, I took a nap. Danny got home from school at 3:00... I was still a slug. Worse than a slug. Finally around 5:00 I decided I better do something, anything. I found a Tai Chi video. Not much, but at least I moved... a little bit.
I also ate a couple of cookies on Friday. Yep, that's right, cookies... On Saturday when I went to the grocery store I was hungry and it was lunch time, I stopped at the hot food case and bought 2 chicken tenders and a small container of mac-n-cheese...yummmm..... until it caused me to sit in the bathroom more times than I would have liked to on a Saturday afternoon. Sorry TMI. Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday. Yes, Danny and I had pizza and wings, also had some nachos. Wasn't the best food, but I didn't over do like I normally would. Feeling like a slug again today.
Around 4:30 I decided I had best do something. I try to exercise before dinner. And trust me dinner tonight wasn't difficult. Condensed soup in a can and a few peanut butter crackers. Wasn't much, but it did fill me and Danny up. It's cold outside and was a source of comfort. Anyway, back to my exercise story. I went into my Pinterest Boards and picked this for my work out. (Just click on work out.) Danny was downstairs doing his thing and I figured I would just do mine, by myself. I started into it. Coordination isn't one of my finer qualities, I was doing the best I could. Around the 19 minute mark I started having problems. Couldn't keep up, coordination was worse, I have no rhythm. I was watching the women doing it, all plus size and they weren't having any problems, why was I? Danny came upstairs a few minutes later, right as I was entering into my misery... my self pity party. He joined me in moving, he was just moving around the living room, then he put his arm around me when we were doing the leg kicks, just like the Rockettes, right....  Then it came time to do the routine over again, from the beginning, it was faster, more advanced. I was having problems keeping up. I said I can't do this, apparently out loud and Danny tells me I'm doing great, "Do what you can Mom." I would pick up where I could... then it came time again to do the routine  from the beginning, I followed until I couldn't follow anymore. I started crying, who starts crying in the middle of a work out? Me, that's who. Again I said out loud, "I can't do this, I just can't do this." Danny rubbed my shoulder and said, "Mom you're doing great, just keep moving. It's o.k. if you can't keep up. You don't have to do the whole thing. Just keep moving." Then he hugged me and told me it's o.k. I did the cool down, then off to the kitchen I went to start dinner. That's when my pity party started rockin'. I cried and cried. Crying is something I do best. I cry when I'm mad, sad, happy, hear a song on the radio, think of a memory, read a children's book. I even cry while watching the Walking Dead. I kept thinking about the work out, not sure why this one was so difficult for me and why I couldn't keep up. Then my mind goes off and I get mad at myself. Mad because I'm like this, mad because I can't move as well as others. Mad because I'm a gigantic, fat, unattractive, (insert Sharon Peters, Chuck Geiger, the Macher brothers and Danny Johnston's comments that I can hear every single day in my head) beached whale. You name it, I was feeling it and I was thinking it and I was mad and sad and most of all disappointed in myself.
Well, (insert heavy sigh here) tomorrow is another day. My track record for getting to another day has been 100%. As soon as I wake up tomorrow morning, this day will be behind me. I just have to keep on climbing. It's not a race and it's not how fast I reach the top, getting there is what matters the most, no matter how long it takes.

Again, I would just like to mention that I'm not writing and sharing this blog for attention. This is part of my therapy for myself. For those that have been reading it and have commented, on here, on fb or in actual conversation, thank you. Thank you for your words of encouragement. If you would like to be a follower, please do. You can do it through Google over on the right side.

This is my blog, my words, my thoughts, my feelings.