Hi! It's been away since I've blogged on here... like 2 years ago and boy have I let myself go since then!
I'm fat, unhappy, unhealthy and there is someone screaming inside of me that wants out.
I joined Planet Fitness! I've never stepped foot in a gym before!
I was scared, I was nervous. My son went with me as my Guest.
We had fun! We can't wait to go again.
We tried out several machines. It was very crowded when we arrived. We wanted to work out together and it was hard finding 2 of the same machines side by side open. We did leg presses, worked our upper bodies and ending our one hour first visit with riding the bikes.
Was it easy? No. Was it hard? A little. Was it worth it? YES!
It didn't take me overnight to get this way and I'm not going to be able to fix myself overnight. Baby steps. Even if it is one step today, well that's one step more than I took yesterday.
I can't believe I'm posting this picture of myself. The first one I took didn't turn out, it was blurry so I had my son take this one after we got home. This is me. Non filtered, not hiding behind someone or doing the neck stretches to hide the double chin. The real me. Every month around this time I will post a new photo.
On my way across the parking lot, those feelings came back. The feelings of being picked last in gym class. Hearing the the harsh words of being called fat, beached whale, cow or being mooed at. The very first person that ever called me fat was Sharon Peters. I was in 1st grade, she was in 4th or 5th. My brother didn't ride the school bus with me anymore and she was ruthless. Every day from the time she got on the bus until the time she got off the bus... It just didn't happen with her. There were others too. My neighbor walked by on the road a few years ago while I was working in my flower bed and mooed. My boss made comments. I know those are only words and they do not make up who I am, but once you hear them over and over again you really start to believe them.
I opened the door to Planet Fitness and walked inside. The girl remembered me from last week, I was greeted with a huge smile and a big hello. I started to feel a little better. Danny and I made our way around the place figuring out where to start. There were people there of all shapes and sizes. No one was LOOKING or STARING at me. No one was smirking. People smiled, some said hello. But not one negative word.
I've talked about joining and one single sentence from my husband last week made up my mind.
"I want to be able to take walks with you before I get too old."
This is me all sweaty and an hour later. I had fun and I can't wait to go back!
I'm looking forward to it!
I can't believe I actually wrote that!